My next post will be followed by one in which I will discuss the diverse topic of communication and how that works, but something occurred to me today that continues to plague my restless mind.
Appreciation: it is one of the most important keys to a long distance relationship.
There are two kinds of appreciation: showed appreciation, and appreciation for yourself. The first kind is the most obvious and the easiest. When you don’t get to see your significant other every day all day, it can cause a lot of stress and open questions to give some answer to the worst possible scenarios. (Where is he? He hasn’t text back in hours, he’s probably in trouble, he hates me, what did I say to make him upset, etc.) The truth is that they’re probably busy or have forgotten about you. (Disclaimer: I mention forgetting in the context that we are all humans and we drift, forget, get preoccupied with something else, which is okay, occasionally.) In this sense, you have to appreciate all the time you do get to spend talking, texting, or skyping your s/o. Verbally acknowledge what they did and how much it meant to you. Text them reminding them how much you appreciate the little things. Essentially, give a little love a lot. Sprinkle that stuff in as much as possible. They will see you recognizing them and they will feel great about the relationship.
The second appreciation is totally necessary to keep yourself sane in a ldr: appreciation for yourself. I say this because you are doing the best you possibly can do within your means to make a relationship flourish. If it isn’t, try to discover why, and then pat yourself on the back for having those conversations and discovering those things. Sometimes you might not get the appreciation you need; not on purpose, but because we all take things for granted. That’s where you need to evaluate yourself as a part of the inner workings of the relationship. After all, it takes two to tango.
That comes to my next point, which is a little more difficult. If you aren’t getting what you need from a relationship, communicate that to your partner and say what you need. Your partner will hear this and hopefully start giving you what you need, slowly but surely. If not, that’s a different conversation that needs to happen. Basically, keep your standards high and make sure they’re met. You deserve the best, or at least enough to get what you need out of te relationship.
Finally, acknowledge that appreciation should be shown in as much as possible and continuously. It is a verbal way of saying,”look! I like the way our relationship works!” Which is amazing in itself.
Here’s your action: say thank you to at least one thing your partner does for you in the relationship, whether it’s trival (thanks for texting me this morning!) or huge (thank you for loving me for me.) Either way, I guarentee you that it will make both of your days, and add another layer of amazing to the seven layer bean dip that is your ldr.